End of 2018

The normalcy of this time of year being a good opportunity to take pause and reflect definitely went up a notch this year with also turning 40 in November.  Nate turned 42 after Christmas and the fact that he was up out of bed before me to take a spinning class shows me I'm not alone. The memories of 2018 and the self truths of starting my 40's have sunk in....no epiphanies...just a grounded feeling of "it's all ok."

My New Years resolution for 2018 was read more because the common sight at our home in the evening had been zoning out online while Nate is reading a book on his kindle.  I read 18 books, mostly non-fiction, in 2018 which is a really big amount for me.   I want to up that in 2019.  I read a line "cluelessness no longer goes with your face" once you turn 40 which resonated with me I think because I've never believed to be that smart (thanks insecurity) but my youth and curiosity helped me get by.  I don't know if my resolution should be more focused on being kinder to myself or working on being smarter - hopefully I'll kill two birds with one stone next year. 

Looking back at 2018, there are definitely stand out moments.  

1. Seeing our close friends go through the most difficult time of their lives having to adapt to a whole new way of life from an avid athlete to a quadriplegic definitely changed us on a different level.   The unfairness and randomness of it all is heart wrenching.  Yet, there they are working tirelessly every single day to make it work and the love they have for each other and their gratitude is awe inspiring. Our recent visit simply spending time with them in their home was a favorite moment of the year.

2.  The time with my sister this year felt extra special with her surprise visits, sister getaway, and many bonding talks. 

3. Time with both sides of our family whether it was Grandma and Grandpa coming out for their visit in the Spring or my side of the family trip to Palm Springs over Thanksgiving to celebrate several November Birthdays was such a treat. 

4. I got to play with and against some really good Tennis players in my leagues this past year and even got a fun trip to Sunriver out of it.  Then I chose to step away from competitive play in the Fall and Winter to pursue other interests which was a big step for me.  

5. All the kids can read now which is a wonderful new family dynamic in our day to day family routines except for the fighting over books part between Lily and Elise. 

6. Elise loves Pickleball and snowboarding and joined Girl Scouts - didn't think I'd be typing that.

7. My brother passed the 10 year mark of living with cancer and continues to aggressively fight the big "C" with a surgery planned in January to what the doctor says will reset his clock.  Bring it.

8. Nate planning and hosting a Birthday dancing bash for my 40th was a big ordeal for us.  I'm appreciative for my friends and family that made the time to give me love and laughs and I'm so thankful for Nate..period.

9. A couple really amazing new friendships formed this year that Nate and I were not expecting at all.  We both know how much harder and rarer it is as we get older.

10. Lily and I started a Mother/Daughter Group with a few other girlfriends in January to help support each other and navigate the ups and downs as well as the tough topics all together. 

11. Nate bought a leather jacket. :)

December pics

Paul got to pick out our tree this year and he chose the biggest tree we've ever had

St. Nicklaus day is a beloved day in our house.  Elise is shocked Opa even earned treats

Elise celebrated her 7th Birthday with a small unicorn themed sleepover

Paul wanted a sports themed party with his buds.  It was the first year we did two separate celebrations

Nate and I got all fancy getting dressed up black tie formal for a friend's Birthday party.  

Social Saturday friend group end of year kids pic

Mother Daughter Club goofy group pic

Paul was really helpful in rolling out and making the cut outs this year

Always so glad and not showing my appreciation enough having Oma and Opa here to celebrate the Holidays together

Our visit to Bainbridge Island to see Dorothy and Troy after recently returning home after months in the hospital

Troy's new trick is giving handshakes with just enough sensation in the tips of his fingers

Traditional Christmas Eve Filet dinner

Christmas morning obligatory window seat shot.  They were very happy with what Santa brought.  They got exactly what they asked for.  A microscope, a doll, and a $20 with an Orange Fanta

Elise took to snowboarding nicely and Paul and Lily continue to like skiing. I might have to put on skis again to help Nate out now. Thanks to my brother-in-law, I didn't have to this time.

November Fun

We've just landed from a great Thanksgiving week Biegansky birthday getaway.  The whole Biegansky/Mather/Yeadon crew basked in the Palm Springs sun with plenty of pool time, tennis, and even pickle ball action.  We had grand plans to explore the area, including Joshua Tree National Park, but the inertia of the house proved too great to overcome.  There were November birthdays round (Nicole) and not (Oma, Opa, Emma) to celebrate, and the sunny break from descending winter weather in Portland and Chicago was just perfect.

Whole family enjoying the pool and all the inflatables the house came with...including a giant swan and a riding bull.  I kid you not.  

Lots of family tennis and pickleball.  Here are the cousins playing.  Private tennis court was a dream come true for our tennis playing family especially Lily who enjoyed playing in her pajamas.  It was great to see Opa showing off his strokes and drop shots again.

 Group shot of all 13 of us

81 year old Opa rode a bull...props for trying

https://youtu.be/lApZit95124

Before the magical California getaway, we also celebrated Nicole's big four zero with a big party of friends.  A dance class, good food and dancing were the official fun, but it was really about bringing together all of Nicole's groups of friends - tennis, Social Saturday, Chapman parents, neighbors, Intel - to meet and have a good time.  It all came off without a hitch and maybe took away a bit of the bad taste of rolling into the 40's.

Dance class snapshot

Happy couple right before guests started arriving

Group shot during speeches

It is again hard to believe the holiday season is on us as we plan to head out on the yearly pilgrimage to cut down a tree next weekend and nail down plans for Paul & Elise's 7th birthday parties.  Time is again moving too fast, and as I look out the front window at our neighbor's Christmas lights I add another item to the list of things to do...

Snapshot - Fall 2018

Lily regularly asks me when she can walk the mile to school alone in our urban neighborhood, when she can start babysitting, when she can have her own computer, and of course when she can have her own phone.  Even though the answer to all the questions is not yet, I do have to say that Lily shows quite a bit of maturity at 9 years old.  She's very independent and on top of what her day's schedule looks like and plans for it accordingly (what to wear, what to pack, extra food).  Gosh, she even knows my own schedule better than me sometimes.  Whether it's her innate personality trait or her being forced into being a helper early in life having twins as younger siblings and her just observing the help I needed, she is a caretaker to her siblings.  It's a nice balance to how mean she can be too, especially to Elise, at times....usually rooted from some kind of jealousy.  Lily continues to inhale books, is busy playing Tennis and going Rock Climbing these days.  Besides reading, she hasn't found something she's truly passionate about to the point that she just has to do it when not asked, but she is definitely still an enthusiast at the buffet of life.  Even though she wants to grow up so fast, I do love that she still runs up to me at school for a hug.  When I say goodnight to Lily, it's a always a tight hug but it's brief because she is usually in the middle of a book.

Elise Elise Elise.  Where do I start with Elise.  Should I start with the hidden candy wrappers inside a toilet paper roll (yes,it's what you're picturing) or all the notes she writes late at night ranging from poems to letters to me when she wants me to be nicer to her. Elise refuses to do any sort of competition whether it's a card game or a family fun run at school....yet I see her racing to the front door when she knows she'll be first to declare victory.  She doesn't hide her emotions.  Her sulking, sad, angry, and feeling guilty faces are at expert level.  The biggest cause of fights between Elise and Lily are over who gets what book.  Elise inhales books as well and she's a classic phonic learner which makes all the writing she does so much fun to read in her misspelled but phonetically correct thoughts.  Elise is in Girl Scouts and I'm trying to get her to try different activities to see if anything will stick.  She is a homebody which doesn't help.  Her idea of a fun time is brushing and playing with my hair while I read to her. She can easily play on her own and can get into a creative zone making costumes and cars out of anything she finds around the house.  When I say goodnight to her, she always says a sweet message to me in "Elise sign language."  

Paul's passion is sports.  I'll find him upstairs with his tennis racket and a foam ball playing tennis against the wall or kicking the soccer ball in the net over and over again. He wants me to play catch with him a lot.  It could be as simple as throwing socks to him while we're putting laundry away..."mom, just one more time, throw me the socks while I run and catch them."  Paul is a rule follower, helpful, and very tentative with taking on new challenges at first.  He prefers to play with someone instead of having alone time which is something I'm trying to work on.  He must always know the entire plan to every last detail before he'll give it a go.  He's very helpful to have around because his observation skills and attention to detail is very evident in his day to day.  He usually falls asleep first and has the best bedhead in the morning.  He seems to be a memory learner at least when it comes to spelling.  It's fun to give both Elise and Paul words to spell and Elise writes them phonetically and Paul is missing just one letter from his memory recollection.  Circle will be serkul by Elise and circl by Paul.  He is a jokester and his comedic timing is impressive.  All my kids make me laugh but there's something about his comedic timing and delivery that works so well.  When I say goodnight to Paul, he always wants a long hug, a kiss and the chance to play the highly competitive "I love you more than x" game. 

When I'm not on stay at home Mom household manager duty, boy am I enjoying my Nicole time.  I'm a very early riser and treasure the Nicole time in the mornings.  It is when I feel most productive and also when I'm at my kindest with myself.  Getting a long swim in or working on some mini project before the sun even rises is a good feeling.  I've made a conscious decision to not play competitive tennis this Fall on the two leagues I usually participate in to work on other interests.  I still need my tennis fix but it's now focused on what I love most about the sport which is getting run around the court by my tennis friends, giving lessons to one of my best friend's kids, and playing tennis with my own kids.  Being present with my family and friends and trying to be helpful within the community and my kid's school brings me much joy.  Gosh, my brother is just passing the 10 year mark since his cancer diagnosis and I always love his quick wit over text.  I'm so grateful for the medical marvels that exist to keep him doing well.   When you think from a perspective of gratitude, life really can feel good. Keeping it there 100% of the time is the tough part. Being active and aware also brings some serious frustrations with the homeless and Portland public schools (national level Politics is it's own blog post of emotions) that keep me up enough to question my decisions on a regular basis.   My inner demons (aka self critical nature and adulting/parenting woes) battle me every day.  Humor helps which is probably why I love listening to stand up comedy so much.  

One of Elise's hair do's

Nate is not a morning person.  He doesn't talk much about work but it consumes much of his mental capacity.  He finds his work challenging and stressful but thankfully secure. He does read obsessively from quality news, Michigan Football, to books of all genres.  We are very much on the same page when it comes to our thoughts on political and social issues.  He helps with Paul's soccer team these days and often tries to get his homebody girls and wife out the door to do more family adventures on weekends at least when there isn't a Michigan game on.  Nate still does the same sporting activities like running and biking but spends less time doing them compared to even 5 years ago because kid activities have ramped up.  He values his couple different regular boys nights for their random conversations and IPA's and still frequents concerts several times a year.  He continues to be the voice of logic and reason in our family.  He is currently the only member of the family that can separate logic from emotion.  

Summer 2018

Dear friends of ours have suffered the unimaginable or more properly put, a fear that the majority of us are too scared to even think about.  A teenage driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit our dear friend while out for a regular Sunday morning run.  Our friend did absolutely nothing wrong...only being at the wrong place at the wrong time.  He is now paralyzed from the neck down and slowly regaining his short term memory.  The sadness and anger is very much there and this desire to help them however I can is as strong as wanting to tell anyone that can hear me to please make safe and smart decisions when you're behind the wheel.  Please. 

With perspective very much in check, time keeps moving and our kids keep us moving too.  Paul and Elise finished Kindergarten, Lily finished 3rd grade, Nate coached Lily's softball team and helped with Paul and Elise's T-ball team to finish out the school year.

Nate and Paul are now glasses buddies and I love the look on both of them.  Paul's interest in reading books, especially in bed, has increased significantly.  

Oma and Opa have returned for summer in Portland and we just pick up where we left off with tasty family dinners, Oma busy in the garden, watching soccer games on Opa's TV, playing games with Oma, sneaking candy from the candy jar and asking for chocolate milk, and the kids scaring Opa by surprising him in the mornings.

Our annual trip to Sunriver in central Oregon was longer than usual thanks to our mixed doubles tennis team advancing to sectionals that happened to be taking place in Sunriver this year.  Central Oregon continues to impress us and we have no shortage of activities we all love to do there.  Watching the year to year changes in the kids such as going down a hill on your mountain bike that was too scary the year before, or hiking up a more difficult terrain that we wouldn't have considered taking them on the year prior to being big enough now to being able to ride all the slides at the aquatic center encapsulates a big part of parenting joy.  I can now read a book while the kids swim in the pool by themselves - having that option does feel good. Sibling fighting and hitting though has not changed..I'd even say the fighting has increased in quantity since last year.  The music we listened to most on the trip was definitely The Greatest Showman soundtrack. 

One more month of summer to go.  Bedtime is way too late these days, my kids could use a week in kindness camp preferably an overnight one, and Nate and I could use a getaway to Maui....really anywhere is fine.  

Paul and Elise's Kindergarten Class - Mr Melling

 Lily with her 3rd Grade Teacher Mrs. Rosoff - a favorite she'll treasure having her whole life

Look how hip and handsome they both look

 Elise's modeling debut for Lincoln Youth Baseball and Softball.  Just cracks me up that the kid who retired for a short while from the sport because she didn't like the look of the pants is now modeling them.

T-ball Team - Team Snow leopard hawks

 Lily's 3rd grade softball team with Dad as coach

 Treasured family dinners.  Grilled meat and homemade french fries are staples on our table

 The big guy, Ty, was a ring bearer in our wedding 12 years ago.  Fond memories of babysitting them and now watching them grow up to be such great kids. Dear friends since 2001.

Girls getaway to Austin 

 While I lived it up at the Hilton in Austin, Nate took all the kids camping.

Tumalo Mountain Hike - We call it the butterfly hike because they were everywhere.  Check out this video to give you an idea of how the hike up went. 

 Checked out the Jefferson County Fair in Madras.  Lawnmower tractor races and watching young kids ride sheep rodeo style stood out for us.

Tube slide fun includes tipping over at the end

 First part of our Sunriver trip was to compete with our mixed double team at USTA Sectionals.  Super fun to be surrounded by so many great tennis players.

 Twins are old enough now to go for a trail ride.  No more expensive pony rides that last 2 minutes. Loved the trail ride in Bend

Surprise Visit, Lily's 9th Birthday, and Spring Fun

I'm coming down from the high of highs today after such a memorable and special week.  I owe it all to my sister.  She flew out to surprise Lily on her Birthday and then surprised me with a sisters only getaway.  Thank you (thank you Nate for helping make it happen)!  Sonya makes the bad times good and the good times unforgettable.   Even with our distance and age gap, we are incredibly close because it is based so much on giggling, family memories, brutal honesty, sarcasm, inappropriateness, finding the humor in everything, and daring each other to do silly shit.  Last week was no exception.  I love you Lolo.

Right after surprising Lily at school.  Lily needed a few seconds to register what she was seeing and then ran to her for a long tight hug.  

To surprise the twins, we decided to put Lolo in the trunk for a short ride.  After opening the trunk, Elise ran for a hug while Paul stood stunned and simply said  "That's illegal."  There's my rule follower.

Lolo with the whole crew

 Enjoying our first glass of wine on our getaway. 

Lily requested a small sleepover party for her 9th Birthday with just a couple friends.  I've noticed over the years at school that she prefers either being alone or in a small group.  When I observe her, she is like a floater talking to everyone but close to no one in her class.  She doesn't seem to care where she sits.  She cares more about the type of chair or desk than who it is next to which is not what I usually observe from others while I help out at school.  Lily continues to be very curious about you name it but she's on a history of the world kick lately. She continues to be an avid reader and listening to audio books, has a fashion style all her own, stays up way too late, and enjoys running fast, and playing on her Tennis and Softball teams these days.

Mali and Liana who she has known since being a baby

 Hair chalk was a hit

She looks like a teenager in this pic

 Lily particularly enjoys playing catcher

Oma and Opa have been gone already well over a month back to Chicago.  I'm grateful they stayed through Easter.  Nate's parents, Lyle and Ann, also flew out to visit over Easter.  It was a rare treat to have both sets of parents together. 

This was right after our Easter Egg Hunt at home after Mass

 Ann and Lyle cheering on Paul and Elise at their School Run at Fields Park

Here are a few more fun memories from the last couple months

 Father Daughter Dance.  We missed Opa this year.  I'm really glad Nate does such a sweet job showing his girls how he would like them to be treated on a special date.

Fun Manzanita getaway with good friends for a couple nights over Spring Break. 

Lily and her bestie Liana.  Love pictures of running kids.

 Opa and our friend Bob treated Elise and Paul to their first fishing trip. Quite a few trout were caught, prepped, and feasted on.  Come back Opa.  They are ready for trip #2.

 Elise is now a Girl Scout.  This was after she earned her first Daisy petal making a bird feeder.  The squirrel got to it first. 

Mothers Day 2018 - They treated me to a homemade brunch they helped prepare with Dad.  Mother's Day this year also fell on our 12th wedding anniversary.  We ate a delicious dinner at Little Bird.  I was really impressed with their charcuterie plate.