The few years we all spent living in Portland at the same time was incredibly special and we knew it in the moment. Nate and I both recall telling each other how lucky we are to have such good long time friends in our lives that live so close. The extra icing on the cake was how much they cared about our kids and showed it over and over again. They truly exemplified what it means to show their love through action towards our kids, and I'll be forever grateful for the impact it's left on them. They hosted fancy tea parties with my girls, taught them how to do handstands, made the best grilled PB&J and BLT's, did fancy hair up-do's, gifted us the most detailed carved pumpkin of a scenic landscape at Halloween, played dress up, and we shared so many delicious meals together. Keep in mind, they did not have children of their own, yet still chose to include our kids the majority of the time.
We spent a lot of time together. We threw the football around in the street during halftime of Michigan football games (Go Blue!), enjoyed Thanksgiving together with a side of sushi, adventured to Mt. Angel Oktoberfest, the list goes on. Troy blew us all away when he wrote and illustrated a children's book for Lily about her and our family after a simple conversation he had with her. Dot got it bound and gifted it to us. "Lily Skis Mt Hood" sits proudly on our bookshelf.
Dot and Troy ended up moving to Bainbridge Island to their dream home after a couple years in Portland. We visited them once as they were settling in. We searched for sea glass on the shore, explored their large garden and their new home full of so many large windows and lots of light. We could easily see why they wanted to make the move to this dream spot.
A short while later on Father's Day 2018, Troy was on a morning run with his friend. A high school student fell asleep at the wheel and hit them both. Troy's friend died from his injuries. Troy was airlifted to the hospital. A devastating spinal cord injury resulted in Troy becoming a quadriplegic. His days as an elite athlete running ultra marathons, climbing mountains, and skiing were no longer possible. Dot's role became not only wife and best friend to Troy but also nurse, caretaker, and advocate 24-7. So much changed in an instant.
I had mentioned in a previous post that the time around my brother's final phase of life was not only devastatingly painful but also full of genuine love. I was witness to the most pure, deep, and beautifully raw form of love at the end of his life. Dorothy and Troy's journey from the helicopter airlift to over five years of living as a quadriplegic introduced my whole family to what it truly means to take care of someone in sickness and in health with such love and concern every moment of the day. The hardships they faced are truly unfathomable. I'll never forget how his smile and humor still lit up the hospital room even with the knowledge he'd have to accept a new quality of life simply through no fault of his own. I remember hunting down a Burrito Supreme from El Farol near the hospital and on the walk to his room passed so many staff members who spoke so kindly of Troy and his positive spirit. Troy was an intellectual, a PhD economist, Michigan football lover, and so driven to be so damn good in all his varying interests. His kindness though was the common thread through all of it.
Troy died last week from complications from his injuries. I wrote this post because I want people to know who he is. I want to honor him and his loving wife Dot. We love you so much.
One of Troy's favorite quotes was
"Only deeds done for others have meaning on both sides of the grave."
He loved it so much, he wanted to memorize it in the language it originated in.
"Nur die Tat die fur andere getan worden ist hat bedeutung beide seits des grabes."
I'm so glad I found this moment between Troy and Nate. Troy was trying to shake Nate's hand and Troy said the handshake was the start of forming a committee that believed Jim Harbaugh should serve as coach Michigan Football in perpetuity. This was when he was still pretty controversial. Troy knew....
I hope you to take the time to look at these pictures, see his face, hear his voice. We feel so blessed to have had Troy, for the short time it ended up being.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/2mwkuaZ7