12 Weeks In

Here we are 12 weeks in as a family of 5 and I'm already reflective.  If I'd been asked to write a list of my top 10 favorite memories during the first 12 weeks with Lily, I would have struggled and probably written down memories I'd rather forget.   Things sure are different this time around and I have a change in perspective and having my Mom here to thank for it.   I love being witness to Oma being such a regular presence in my children's lives.I haven't had this much Mom time since I was 17 years old.  If I didn't have twins, I wouldn't have had the chance to bond with my mom like we are now.  I don't feel lonely like I did with Lily because my Mom is here. When I'm annoyed rocking a crying baby yet again to sleep, my mom is right there rocking the other one or just chatting to pass the time.  If you would have known our relationship back in the day, you would really get a kick out of how far we've come.  My Mom moving to Munich during this time has set the ultimate example on what it means to drop everything showing me there is nothing more important to her than to help her children.  Thanks Oma. And a shout out to Opa who is just as big of a help, just a little bit more behind the scenes.

Funny as I reread the first paragraph, I sound so rosy but another truth is that at this moment, Lily is screaming bloody murder in her crib because of some unreasonable request, Nate has a nasty cold and is rocking (of course standing position) Paul after relieving an exhausted and achy Oma, and Elise is starting to cry AGAIN after I just put her down in her crib when I started this blog. I'm going to bed after I finish this probably at 830pm so I'm game enough for my middle of the night feeding and I'll start again tomorrow probably wearing the same outfit I wore today (yes Sonya, that green sweater).

But I'm good.  I might not have balance in my life but instead I get smiles, o my gosh, so many smiles now from both of them, can't get enough smiles.  I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed but I do get to wake up in the morning to the stretches, grunts, bubbles and coos of  babies and Lily running in wanting so badly to say good morning and hold them.  Having a quiet family dinner without someone having to get up to walk an upset baby or teach Lily another lesson in good manners is rare but there have been those magical moments looking around the table and seeing 2 babies held in loving arms smiling at me while Lily eats nicely talking probably about the Wizard of Oz. I won't miss the process of swaddling and trying to put a sleepy baby down only to wake up again right away over and over again but I will miss rubbing my nose and cheek against their smooth and warm head.  I won't miss Lily testing us a bit more lately and lashing out at Oma but I will miss how incredibly sweet she is with Paul and Elise.  I have been pleasantly surprised by how interested, gentle, and protective ("Don't look at them! They are mine!") she is.