Mather Blather: Florida Visit

My brother, Eric, has been dealing with the most difficult health challenges of his life over the last year. His wife Jill should get an honorary certified license as a medical practitioner. They both have been thrown into the unknown and a torture chamber over and over again. The details of his health are for them to share. This blog post is meant to jot down some of my thoughts from my recent visit with them.

My travel buddy, Elise, and I visited them in their new Jacksonville home this past week. They have only just moved there in September to be closer to the Mayo clinic and be by a couple of their dearest friends.

My personal goal was to simply sit with Eric while we watch TV. If he was up for talking, regardless of the subject, I would be ready with my questions regardless of the topic and ready with witty comments to liven up the mood when I could. Did I get it right? Probably not. That’s ok though. My goal was to simply be with Eric and see Elise and Eric interact even it’s in silence, figure out small ways to help if they didn’t directly ask for it, and have our presence be more of a comfort than a nuisance. The added bonus to the visit was having my sister there so all the siblings were together . It was not lost on me just how special it was to have all of us together. It was a random lunch in Chicago years ago when it was just us. My sister is the heart and the glue of our family. I have witnessed the special connection Eric and Lolo have over all these years (they are only 2 years apart) from their shared stories and inside jokes.

I love my brother and have looked up to him my entire life. I always will. He can be such a punk with how often he has said “Kein bock”(german for not in the mood) to me after teasing me with false hopes that he’ll go outside and play with me a lot in my childhood. He is 8 years older than I am so you can understand the lack of interest to really play with me. He is also the brother that would help me in a heartbeat if I was in trouble. When we were facing down a Level 5 Hurricane, he was making calls trying to figure out how to somehow miraculously charter a private jet to get us out in time. He flew to Boston after a work trip to surprise us during Elise’s 2nd surgery. His signature quick wit and eloquent storytelling nature was on full display when he emceed our wedding or gave any speeches at family celebrations.

He and Jill are figuring out how to best navigate their new norm and taking it all a day at a time. “It is what it is” was said quite a bit. It’s almost comical just how much they have to monitor and be on top of around the clock. It’s so much work that it’s only natural that it either elicits a response of tears or laughter at the sheer volume and complexity of it all. Gotta choose laughter when you can.

Coincidentally, my best friend from elementary school, Manju, also happens to live in Florida, just a few hours away. While Eric and Jill got ready for their next visitors, we enjoyed a couple nights with Manju and her family. A fun quote from the movie Dumplin that rings true to our friendship is “great friends have nothin’ and everything in common all at once.” Both Elise and I enjoyed being completely at ease with people we love and know we are loved back. It’s a good feeling.

Here are a few pics from the visit.

We had just arrived at the Orlando airport after the long flight and we loved the warm temps and lit up water features.