August 2017 - Back to summer mode full throttle

Summer 2017 is about to come to an end with Lily starting 3rd grade tomorrow.  Summer started off strong with adventures with friends, camps, and lots of outdoor time.  July ended up being intense for us with Elise's annual foot doctor's appointment in Seattle throwing us into a bit of a frenzy.  I'm not going to get into it again in this post but that one appointment led to many unexpected hours on the computer, on the phone, on an airplane, and staying up late figuring out how to decide what's best for Elise, our family, how to articulate it, own it, and move forward.  We have hit pause for now because August marked the beginning of Nate's glorious 2 month sabbatical and we want to make sure to savor every bit of its splendor.  

Here are some random pictures from our August, full of family time and travel.  

Opa got the thumbs up from the crew on grilling the steaks just right

Summer brought out some creative musical numbers and even another wedding.  This time, Paul officiated.

First day of Nate's Sabbatical, we hit the beach.  Happy Nate. 

Enjoyed time with friends in Sunriver.  Here being treated to a full on production post dinner by the kids.

Fun outing to South Twin Lake

August 21, 2017.  Solar Eclipse.  Totality.  Madras, Oregon. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These days, Lily is to kayaking as Paul is to mountain biking

New mountain bikes this summer means stepping it up on the trails.  

Macrodactyly Status, Age 5, Syme Amputation

It has been 4 years since Elise's first surgery to help her right foot fit into normal shoes.  We have had regular abdominal ultrasounds with no irregularities to note given the increased risk of tumor growth in her abdomen.  The difference in her leg length, 3/4'', which we learned about 2 years ago has not increased.  We respect and like the Doctor we've been seeing annually the last 3 years up in Seattle.  Elise has been wearing normal shoes of either 1 or 2 size difference and overall, she's in no pain and runs around fine.  Elise is proud to show off her foot and is still at an age that it all feels innocent in her world.  We've been pretty close to coasting when it comes to Elise's condition.  

The coasting phase has come to an abrupt end.  We are now in an intense emotional time working hard to figure out next steps.  We went to Elise's recent annual check up mentally prepared to discuss her next surgery this Winter.  It is becoming more challenging to find shoes for Elise.  The upward angle of her big toe, and destroying the growth plate in her first toe that unfortunately didn't take during her first surgery are the main reasons why it is time in our minds.  

Our Doctor shocked us by recommending amputation of her foot, called a Syme's amputation.  He spoke to the fact that no one can accurately predict her foot growth going forward and there is the risk that her foot and leg grow at a large enough rate that it could affect functionality.  Amputation would be a "one and done" option which would mean no more surgeries on her foot and maybe only one to address her leg length difference when she's a little older.  

It's very hard for me to visualize Elise without her foot when she moves around in her active life just fine and she is in no pain.  If the Doctor would say Elise has a life threatening tumor on her foot, it would be such an easy decision.  But no, do we amputate to avoid a scenario that may or may not happen?  One option would seem to be "let's just let Elise decide when she's of age."  But it was strongly suggested to amputate sooner rather than later; it's apparently much easier on kids than on adults when it comes to recovery and issues with phantom limb pain.  This is the worst "would you rather" game ever.  Nate and I have to decide for Elise whether to put her through multiple surgeries with an uncertain end state or be one and done and amputate.  All while we have a healthy and happy Elise having no trouble running after her siblings to smack them when she's being her feisty self.  

We are reaching out to our network of doctors and others with macrodactyly and hoping for expertise on the topic and alternative options to help us with our decisions.  No one can definitively say that her foot will stop growing in young adulthood and that scares us.  No one can definitely give us much of anything when it comes to what to expect with her foot and leg.  It is incredibly frustrating. 

Elise starts Kindergarten this year and I'm well aware that her "my foot is super cool and special" view will be tested in the not so far future.  Truth is, I haven't gotten used to the rude long stares from people and the whispers I see when I watch Elise and her surroundings.  Please please please, whoever might be reading this, teach your kids to approach, talk and ask questions.  The blatant staring is just wrong.  I know I'll probably wish for the staring versus the mean words older kids use but I can't say it enough: if you are going to stare which I understand is hard to avoid,  please approach and ask a question. Just a smile is nice too.  Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.  

We have not reached a decision on her next treatment plan.  We will figure it out.  If anyone finds this blog that is also dealing with this condition, please reach out.  

May 2017

 We have a newly minted 8 year old Lily in the family.  She is not one to keep it on the down low when it comes to her Birthday; she counted down the days and made all her wishes known repeatedly on how to ring in the big 8.  I love this age on her.  Lily says she wants to be an astronaut on a mission to Mars and also star on Broadway when she grows up.  She likes her alone time at some point after school for a little bit and it's usually playing Playmobil or reading books.  Lily is on it with knowing the rules and with what's going on.  She is more of an introvert focused on a few select friends and staying quiet in new surroundings. But not when it comes to trying new things; Lily has so far always been up for trying new things.  Dancing, Singing, Tennis, and Swimming are probably the activities she's done most consistently this past year and she doesn't love one more than another.  

I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking for this past month

Lily's 1st Communion at St Mary's Cathedral (same church we got married in and where Lily was baptized).  

The occasion was meaningful to all of us but in particular to my parents.

Lily requested a sleepover Birthday party this year.

One of our neighbors has a poem box outside his home.  He asked Lily to find a poem for him.  She was so honored and instead, she wrote a poem the next day.  When she saw the poem in the box a few days later, she was beaming and said "I'm famous."

Tee ball has been a big hit and Daddy as coach is the heart of the reason why. Lily is super helpful as assistant manager and it's been a lot more fun than I expected.

We signed the kids up for a fun race with our club to give them the experience and Elise was fighting it the whole time.  We didn't think she'd do it but when they asked for their age group to line up, Elise ran over and as you can see was the only one to be in racer starting position.  No idea where she got that.  She got 2nd place by a hair! 

First of probably a few daddy/daughter dances.  Nate and Opa did such a nice job showing the girls how they should be treated on a date.

While the dance was going on, we asked Paul what he wanted to do.  He asked for mini golf.  I was impressed with the putt putt course at Oaks Park - picturesque setting and well kept up.  Highly recommend.

Last dinner with Oma and Opa before they left for Chicago.  Yup, I'll miss the help.  No question.  What sucks more is that they are more than just help - they are my loving, supportive and entertaining parents that are an integral part of our day to day lives.  I like looking out the window and seeing my Mom planting in the garden.  I like walking by the house and seeing my Dad at the computer.  I like opening their door to say good morning and hear about their latest disagreement and I like opening the door at night to say good night to my Dad wearing his head phones so he can hear the TV better without waking the neighbors and Mom rolling her eyes that it's politics on TV again.  And that's just me.  I didn't even mention all the interactions with the kids.  Darn it.  Come back.   

Nate's Grandmother passed away a few weeks ago.  She was such a sweet woman who gave such soft long hugs and held my hand that extra second.  When I first met her 16 years ago, we did a big load of dishes together and she told me about her time as a nurse during WWII and then going to Indiana for college and bumping into her future husband who'd she happened to have met during her service in the war too.  Meant to be.  We saw her last July at her lake house.  She was practically blind and mostly deaf but she insisted on hosting us for dinner and made chicken salad.  She was such a calming and loving presence in the years I knew her.

Easter 2017!

Life makes a lot more sense to me when I stay focused on the small life I live and love so much with my family.  My kids drive me mental regularly, but it's not even a drop in a bucket compared to the discomfort and unease I get every time I check the headlines.  At times, I feel this urgency to either teach my kids humility, discipline, empathy, and a strong work ethic to help them navigate this crazy world or an urgency for them to just be well behaved so it's easier to enjoy the time we have together.  I need to remind myself that even though my time with them moves fast, being with them even when they are total brats is all par for the course just like the tone I can get or the short fuse I can have. One day I'll laugh that they still fight and scream (so loud!) about the most ridiculous things like who gets to sit next to a friend in the car or if one thinks the other is looking out "their" window.  That day is not today but I know it'll come.

Today is Easter and spending it with Oma and Opa is always a special treat (literally with the huge Easter cake she baked and Easter cookies we decorated....thanks Oma).  I love the meaning behind today - a renewed sense of hope, peace, and love.  That's it.  It's what I think of every single day when I look at my kids.

Here are some of our little life's moments these past couple of months

Chillin' with their buddy Ren.  This was right before Elise and Ren decided to get married.

 Big Helper Paul helping Oma with her favorite past time.....planting flowers

 Booked our family trips on our 2 month Sabbatical this Fall in Europe.

 Our weekly family Tennis - Oma and Opa even joined

 Having Fun at a preschool social

 Nate's sister Emily and family came to visit.  Lots of fun cousin time

 Cousin time 

 Thorns match date with Oma and Opa

Paul and Elise started Tball.  They are lucky that Dad is Coach - he's a natural at it. Team name - Cubs.  Go Cubs.

 Family Bike Ride

Daddy/Paul date at a Timbers game

Easter Egg Hunt time

Easter Family Selfie

Wet Winter

It's been a while.  Things have happened.  We've seen the many forms of Portland winter, many kid activities, a march, many days out of school, and a big indoor waterpark.  Needless to say, we're looking forward to warmer, drier days.  We did officially schedule our 2nd sabbatical - 8+ weeks off work - for the late summer/early fall.  Lots of travel planning in our very near future, but we're already anticipating visiting our European friends and places familiar and new. I'll just let pictures do the rest of the talking.

We got a lot of snow and ice over the course of December and January.  Lily's dance recital was delayed and she ended up dancing solo in front of a crowd of about fifty.  She claimed stage fright, but she was great and got huge cheers!  Go Lily!

We got hit with almost a foot of snow in early January and got to go sledding in the neighborhood and have big snowball fights.  The streets were a mess and traffic was quiet for a few days, it took over a week for it to melt vs. the usual day or two.  We were definitely ready for it to disappear.

Change of pace with silly Paul.  He's becoming quite the goofy-face artist.

At the Portland Womens' March with ~100,000 of our closest friends.  Glad we could get out and make our voices heard in a really positive environment.  

 Another change of pace with the twins in their homemade "bunk bed" made of tumbling mats and bedside tables.  The first version was rejected due to poor engineering, but this version lasted a few days.  

We surprised the kids with an overnight trip to Great Wolf Lodge, a huge indoor waterpark slash kid heaven.  We picked up the twins and then pulled Lily out of school a couple of hours early before spilling the beans about our adventure.  It was fun, everyone went on almost all the waterslides and splashed around in the wave pool.  

Off to the races into the wave pool.

A peaceful moment with Oma.  We've loved having them around for a more extended stretch than usual.

Another fun winter outing, skating with friends.  P&E's buddy Ren from preschool also joined us for a sleepover, their first sleepover hosting.  They even managed to get some sleep.

Skating this year was much different than last year, everyone was independent instead of clingy, with Paul tiny-stepping around the rink, Elise cautiously sliding along, and Lily totally getting it looking like a pro.  

The goofballs after a trip to the Nike Company store.  The Michigan move from Adidas back to Nike is definitely being felt in the Mather household.  Go Blue!

2016 Family Christmas in Portland

I am the baby sister (aka mistake) in my family by about a decade. I am happy to have evolved in our family dynamic from the spoiled brat to a competent enough hostess.  I also live farther away than I'd like to be from my siblings.  My family was generous enough to travel all the way to us so we could host everyone for the first time for Christmas.  We got 3 full days as a family of 13 and we packed it in. We made it count loving all of it.

2017 will definitely be a year of change and big events for us personally with an upcoming two month Sabbatical, my sister turning 50, my Dad turning 80, and the twins starting school in the Fall. 

I made my first You Tube slide show of the Holidays for a change of pace and uploaded a couple videos of my Dad working so hard to get us to say the right phrase during Lolz.  Have to watch both to see if we ever get it right.  

Five Year Olds Ready for the Holidays!

Paul and Elise are now 5 (!!!!!), we welcomed Oma and Opa back to Portland, and have been well underway with holiday festivities.  Bring it on Christmas - we are ready for your joy and promises of peace on earth.  

Paul and Elise sleep side by side in their toddler beds pushed next to each other these days of their own accord.  During some bickering over who got which books in bed last night, I said "you know, it's especially nice to say something nice to each other at bedtime."  Elise said "I love you Paul" and Paul replied "I love you too Elise."   I asked Elise to do her chore of sweeping the front porch the other day and Elise grumbled about it.  Paul said "Mom, after she's done, can I sweep the front porch because I know she'll do a bad job." Both examples are quite telling of their personalities.

 Elise continues to be my independent, strong yet sweet cuddler, stubborn, silly, imaginary play extraordinaire, and lover of drawing and books.  She loves open gymnastics showing her feats of strength.  If she feels like she achieved something, she gets so proud and excited. She is now a confident swimmer and loves the water more than ever.  Paul can also swim but he is much more tentative about it.  He'll do a fist pump and call it a day.  Elise continues to be my wild card with what comes out of her mouth to what she'd like to do for the day.  It's fun to witness except when it's not - "no no no, I don't want to go".  

 Paul loves to know what's going on at all times.  He loves being active from riding his bike, playing Tennis, to throwing a football. He is my little helper.  He'll go outside to sweep the sidewalk and driveway without being asked, always wants to take in the empty trash cans, and don't get me started on his preference to use the ball cleaner upper machine over actually hitting tennis balls.  He's just a good kid that at times gets into his own head too much with I don't know what to call it yet - anxiety, over thinking, lack of control, and can have an epic meltdown.

Oma and Opa are back and there was no transition needed.  Jumping on Opa and cuddling with Oma came back easily after them being gone for 3 months.  We are all thrilled to have them back.  We are well underway celebrating the Holidays.  We are hosting my whole family this year.  The fun begins today.    

Our Thanksgiving with friends new and old.

Newly minted 5 year olds enjoying their song.

Portland's first snow this year was just enough for a 1-foot high snowman.  And two days of no school.  The second snow was even less snow but two more days of no school.

The twins just being cute.  Definitely lots of cute moments these days.  

Decorating the tree after Oma & Opa returned from Chicago.  Picked just the right tree with a few inches to spare to the ceiling.

Lily's choir concert.  She's in the front row just left of center.  She did great but the high school aged choirs were really impressive.  Almost as impressive as those bald spots in front of the camera.