Auf Wiedersehen Munich

Dear Munich,

It was love at first sight when we first crossed paths years ago.  You are still so beautiful to me even after all we've been through these last 3+ years.  Your beauty still takes my breath away and I don't see that ever changing.  We had quite the romantic start to our relationship traveling from place to place and checking literally everything off your to do list.  You spoiled my then 1.5 year old daughter Lily royally with your kid friendly tourist attractions, playgrounds, and so much yummy food for my meat loving, bakery yearning little girl.   When you surprised me by asking me to officially move in with you with no end date, things got serious fast.  And that's when the romance started to fade and the reality of day to day life began…. full of surprises, changes, and work.  

We sure had a rough start.  Felt rougher than it was because my expectations were so high.  I had dreams of living with you since before you even knew I really existed.  I had grand plans and lofty goals like tagging along on most of Nate's business trips with Lily around Europe and speaking such good German that people wouldn't be even able to guess I was American.  Sure was fun to think about.  Instead, exactly 8 weeks after we moved in, I found out I was pregnant with twins.  My life as I saw it changed in an instant.  You were horrible at helping me through my mostly miserable pregnancy.  I had never been so lonely and nervous and afraid and sad and lethargic in my life.  You were not very helpful in getting us settled in Munich and making friends.  Sure, I wasn't really pulling my weight that first year;  It sure was a lot harder to adjust and make friends than I can remember.  

Despite the rough start, things really did get so much better and that's what makes this goodbye so bittersweet.  We did take some memorable family trips together from Slovenia to France to Austria to Italy. You gave me a Munich home I will miss - perfect layout and size for us right by the Angel of Peace statue in the English Garden found through a random post on Facebook.   We worked so hard to get where we are now.  I am so proud of the groove we found this past year, the friends we made, the amazing help we found to help with our kids, the relationships we built, all the time I got to spend with my parents, and living our day to day life raising 3 kids in the middle of the city just fine.  It feels like we're leaving right when things got really good between us again, like I'm not getting a chance to savor it.  I love raising my kids in Munich - this amazingly safe, kid friendly, and clean city.  Having so many playgrounds nearby and a great Kindergarten for Lily to thrive at is something that I have appreciated so much here.  We didn't get back to the romantic rendezvous from our first stint together but we did build something wonderfully rich and deep with love.  You gave me Paul and Elise and my bilingual 4 year old Lily, and a much more humbled and grateful me.

I am careful about saying too much in this blog because I am fragile and emotional. I jump from resentment to sadness to excitement back to anger quite quickly.  Time will help me sort through my emotions and how I'll pass my Munich learnings to my kids.   I do want them to know that dreams do come true, just not the way you always envision it.  It always works out for the best and it may take sometime before you really understand why (I'm not there yet).  Chin up, be positive, be grateful, and keep on moving.

It seems fitting that my last week in Germany is at my parents' house.  Being near them was a big force behind moving here. I ended up having to ask for a lot more help than I thought I would being here but through all the help and time we spent getting through so many hard times, it really feels like Oma and Opa are getting some amazing payback this Christmas visit - already lots of loving moments with their grandkids.

Ok you good lookin', beer loving, walkable, bike loving, safe city Munchenshire - I'm going to miss you.  Pfirrti

love Nicole

The Two are Two

Whether it's the terrible twos or the terrific twos, they are here.  Paul and Elise turned two on Sunday and we all celebrated with a little party.  They got to dance, play with new toys, have fun with a few friends, and eat their favorite dinner, all topped off with gobbling down some chocolate cake after getting an assist from their big sister in blowing out their birthday candles.

Looking back on their 2nd year, I really can't say whether it was easier or harder.  It definitely was not easy, and thankfully we had a lot of help, whether family or our worth-every-penny part time nanny.  One thing I definitely can say is that over the span of the year they went through a ton of changes.  From barely walking to running and jumping around and from relative silence (crying excepted) to babbling on in somewhat coherent sentences.  We definitely have our challenging parental moments with whining clingy impatient hair-pulling children, but we all pull through as best we can.  At least we are getting more moments with Paul and Elise playing nicely with each other or being excited about something and being able to really talk about it.  Today it was a "BIG MOOSE" singing "OBANABOM".  That would be a big animatronic moose head singing "O Tannenbaum" at a Christmas market here in Munich.  They both couldn't wait to tell me about it when I walked in the door from work.  

I would say that both are in the midst of transitions at the moment.  Paul is becoming a bit less whiny and clingy, he's talking a ton and has some really sweet moments being gentle with babies or giving his sisters something they want.  He's still not a great eater but at least he said the bacon he ate the other night was yummy.  One thing he is a champ at is cleaning.  He loves pushing the broom around and using the dustpan, and his big treat is using the big canister vacuum.  Elise continues to be a sweetheart most of the time but has been having a few more tantrums lately as she gets frustrated with one of her toys or with one of her siblings.  She's the bully of the three at the moment, scratching, pushing and pulling hair to get what she wants, at least until Lily stands up for herself.  But she is also spending more time playing in her own little make-believe world, making a picnic for her stuffed tiger or putting all the Playmobil people in a row.  And she is lively and laughing more often than not.  She had her last visit with her foot doctor here, and honestly the only time we think of her foot most days is when we put on and take off her compression sock.  Thank God for that.

In one week the movers will show up to pack everything, stuff it into a container, and send it off on a ship to arrive in Portland in six or so weeks.  We will head off to Oma and Opa's to celebrate Christmas and then get on a plane with three kids and two cats (just be thankful you're not on our flights) the day after my birthday.  Oh, and after arriving in Portland around midnight I need to show up at work the next morning to sign off on paperwork.  Hopefully I don't have to take a new badge picture, it would probably look something like Nick Nolte's mug shot.  We'll have another blog shortly to cover all the craziness as we prep for the move... not for your entertainment so much as for us to look back on and remember in years to come.

Hanging out in Lil's bed while she's at school

 Sweet moment of my kids holding hands instead of pulling hair after picking Lily up from school.

 Santa Elise likes her new Nemo stuffed animal.

 Add another "momo man" to the collection so he has a handy stash.  Paul likes to sleep with a motorcycle and preferably one with someone riding it.

Might be boring to some but complete bliss to us.  One obvious difference from the first birthday to this birthday is a moment like this.