Hoppipolla

Yesterday morning, we were at the kitchen table working on our computers. Nate was starting to put together the hospital music mix and I was signing up for an Infant CPR class when Nate started playing Hoppipolla from Sigur Ros (Hoppipolla means hopping in puddles in Icelandic)and I just started crying. I looked over at Nate and I could tell he was choked up too. I haven't cried as much as I thought I would throughout pregnancy but I have a hunch my body is saving up the tears for after Stetsi's arrival. Now that I'm in my 38th week, I've become more reflective given that symptoms I thought I would have probably won't make themselves known now.

• My mom told me how much she loved pregnancy because it made her skin the best it's ever been and her hair fuller. That has definitely not been the case with me. The pregnancy glow never made an appearance, only acne did, and the only fullness my hair saw was bedhead after way too many rough nights.


• My mom had varicose veins but I haven't gotten them. From what my mom has told me about her own, I haven't had similar type of pregnancy except we both have had VERY active babies.


• I haven't had any real cravings during pregnancy. I don't count my morning sickness time because it was more of what food repulsed me the least. Nate hasn't had to make a food run in the middle of the night.


• I kept hearing how constipation is very common especially when you're on iron supplements. I haven't had any issues in that department the whole time. I do eat a lot of nuts, maybe that had something to do with it.


• Morning sickness truly sucked and I haven't forgotten how much it sucked. I still remember throwing up in a restaurant sink right as a stranger walked in and just giving her this "I hate life" look.


• Given that I sprained my lower back a few years ago, I just assumed I'd have some serious back pain. Instead, it's been my butt the whole time. I gotta say thanks to Pilates for that one.


• I have always loved swimming but this pregnancy has made me fall in love with it more than ever. I really could care less that I only go back and forth like a fish in a tank because I love how my mind wanders, how my body feels, and even how I can cry and nobody sees my tears. I am probably setting myself up for depression when I won't be able to swim for quite a while after birth. That does scare me.


• I have had a hard time describing how my body feels when it comes to the varying discomfort and pains I've had. I know I'm not the greatest with words but the stuff my body has felt has made me tongue tied quite often. I didn't think I'd say popcorn popping in my vagina, heat flashes just in my nipples, bug crawling "tinglyness" up my leg, but it's true. The complexity and bizarreness of having a life grow inside me has only given me the biggest "what the F" ever. How crazy and amazing life is has been upped to a whole new level.


• Besides morning sickness hell, my appetite hasn't changed. The only reason I might have acted grumpier when hungry and no food in sight is because I felt like I was letting Stetsi down. This whole 300 extra calories a day is nice and I'll take it, but I really couldn't tell a difference with how I usually eat.


• No swelling of the feet, my wedding rings still fit, and no need to buy that much maternity wear. I thought I'd have to buy new bras, new underwear, lots of tops, and that hasn't been the case at all. Apparently, I buy too big to begin with.


• Mornings have been the best time of day the entire pregnancy with how I feel. Stetsi has officially made me into a morning person, sorry Nate.

Reading what I just wrote over, there are probably women that hate me because overall, I've been pretty damn lucky. I hate women who didn't have any morning sickness so I can understand.

I keep a side journal to jot down more raw notes and feelings. I have had a hard time getting my emotions down on paper which usually hasn't been the case for me. It's a mixture of being scared to admit the truth and it being really tough to explain. It's like I purposely don't let myself get to a certain emotional point because it scares me too much. If I get close, I stop, turn around, and look for my closest task list. I really don't want to live that way but I also want to be able to function.

I have one more week of work left if not sooner. My blood pressure was a little higher than normal last week so the doctor might want me to stop sooner. We'll see. Stetsi is still kicking a lot. I did wake up last night with really sharp side pains that quickly morphed into full stomach cramps/achiness for about 30 minutes. Stetsi jolted rhythmically for a few seconds once in a while but the pain didn't go in and out like I assume a contraction would. I don't know what that was all about but I assume it had something to do with prepping my body for what's about to come.

Here are a couple pictures from the weekend. I posted a few more to the cats picasa album too. For those of you that have met Gigi, you know it's really Queen Gigi. She's always been a great lap cat but hates being held. In the last few months, she has started letting us hold her like we would Stetsi; this is probably Gigi's first selfless act to let us practice on her. :)